So here in this video I would like to share with you and introduce you to one off what I found to be
over the years.
One of the most powerful and effective communication skills that we can build into our very being not
just as coaches not just as helpers but as human beings as husbands as wife's parents as friends as
managers as bosses as employees as whatever.
All right if you can build this one core communication skill into your life I guarantee you my friend
that the quality of your relationships will literally transform over night.
Have you ever felt like you have been in a relationship or been having a conversation with someone and
you just feel like they are one hundred percent they with you.
They're there for you and it's not like they're even saying that much.
It's not like they're kind of come up with any answers or solutions to your problems or to your issues
but you just feel like you have like someone's there they've got your back they're just there with you.
Well and this is the art of attending people.
And when we are they are in our hole and our life and our fullest we're not just listening to what they
say we're not just looking to communicate with them and teach them some stuff or giving some advice
or some guidance.
We're not just here to set some goals and get them all enthused and more than excited or anything like
this.
We're here to understand them and would do this through attending people and using the core communication
skill called immediacy Immediacy is believe it annoys so unbelievably simple as just about us simply
saying what we see when having a conversation with other people and the demonstration that follows.
I'm going to invite Curran to engage with me in a conversation this isn't even gonna be you know in
a coaching context I'm going to ask Curran to tell me about it's foreshadowing last weekend.
No I know pushed in last weekend because it was weather because of my husband.
All right but I'm gonna show you how we can use immediacy and tending people to draw out all sorts of
fascinating information that most people actually miss immediacy is about us sometimes reflecting back
what we are hearing people say looking for a correction or for clarification it's sometimes about asking
questions and responds to people's physical movements their physical response their body language is
sometimes about us offering hunches about what a person's perhaps trying to say but doesn't maybe half
their vocabulary or there is is perhaps able to articulate quite yet.
All right.
It's about us creating this space for our clients or for other people to simply direct the conversation
wherever they want to direct it whatever it's going to seem and feel meaningful for them though it's
crucial that we get these skills correct especially right at the start right coaching we can we can
go as deep as what we want to when it comes to deliver like core values breakthrough sessions and stuff
like that yeah you're going to require quite a bit of insight right to be able to conduct core values
breakthrough session or even core identity.
All right.
But to be honest here this is kind of where you start.
This is the starting point when we can master just attending people with our full bodies right.
There's gonna be a few things we want to do is it's.
You know how we how we sit with them we want to march them mirror them just a little bit I'll demonstrate
in the next and the next video and we want to be reflecting back what we're hearing what we're sometimes
not hearing what we're seeing what we're sensing.
So in order to be able to do this well right to our minds must be free.
Absolutely empty of agenda.
We can't have the agenda.
We can't be here trying to heal we're trying to fix or trying to correct or trying to court court or
any of these sorts of things we've got to take the advice of good old Master Yoda remember Master Yoda
and the was the.
Which one was it was the empire strikes back or return of the Jedi is one of the two contacts they remember
and who was the hero or the hero of the story was Luke Skywalker.
All right and Luke Skywalker something had happened to end up on this planet and you need to see Master
Yoda and Luke Skywalker was getting himself all anxious and all uptight because you know school in saving
the galaxy seemed like a bit of an overwhelming thing for him to do.
And he said Master Yoda I'm trying.
I'm trying.
And then Master Yoda said Ah Young Master look there is no try.
There is only do or don't do or words to that effect.
All right.
And this is where we have full permission as life coaches to stop trying to put an agenda down just
shrug it all off.
We can't get attending wrong.
We can't get practicing immediacy wrong.
We can't break people with this stuff.
All right.
All of this is simply our going to do is open the floor for our clients to talk about what ever the
how they want to.
And in the early stages of cushion of a coaching relationship.
This is what is going to assure them and help them to know and see and experience for themselves that
we're the kind of people that can fundamentally be trusted just to be there for them.
All right now obviously we're going to build on this but in the next video I'm going to show you exactly
what I mean by attending and using the core communication skill of immediacy.